Before you all foam from the mouth, we are aware that all four of these slightly outdated, baseless transfer rumours really have no place, at all, as things stand for Fulham but, as off-field matters regarding a new head honcho of the technical area are also masked in speculative mystery, allow us to fan some flames, please? Silly season's turned brain-dead stupid and we all need something else to distract our attentions with. How are we honestly expected to cope without Euro 2020 games until Friday for the love of all things Federico Chiesa!?
30th June 2021
Clappers-in-hand, 2,000 enlivened Fulham fans, scattered across the Hammersmith and Putney End terraces, witnessed Steve Bruce's Newcastle United claim 12th spot in the standings with a 2-0 victory against Scott Parker's Championship-bound rabble. The loss was meaningless, a formality, however ending the season on a softened high would've been an alleviating vaccine for a torrid campaign riddled with injustice, falsehoods and outrage, but there would be no last-gasp hurrah, no sarcastic adieu, just a prolonged mewl of perpetual disdain and dismay.
24th May 2021
Cam runs the rule over our hard-earned point at Old Trafford on Tuesday.
19th May 2021
Cam takes a look back - as only he can - at our loss on the south coast.
17th May 2021
That relegation-defining nail's dangled ominously for a lifetime and Sean Dyche's Burnley drove it into Fulham's Premier League coffin, reading our last rites with a foreseeable 2-0 victory. Bowing out without a whimper, Scott Parker summarised this condemning defeat with loaded statements, dressed dismissively, holding his hand up to our demise whilst inadvertently accusing unnamed affiliates. Protests won't relieve us of Tony Khan but I genuinely hope that as our distracted, unqualified excuse of a DoF - who's presumably maturing - he'll also own a hefty, deserving slice of accountability.
11th May 2021
There was no celebratory slice of Cuthbert the Caterpillar on Scott Parker's 100th game in charge of Fulham. The Whites held their breath, Mikel Arteta's party-crashing Arsenal blew out the candles. No Premier League triumph in the capital in 23 attempts, no victory at either the Emirates or Highbury in the league, ever, and as we digest a draw that stings like another deflating defeat, we're now pondering the possibility of a null and void season, safe for another year in the top-flight, thanks to the timely, albeit despicable announcement of the European Super League.
19th April 2021
As the cameraman panned to the touchline, fixed firmly on Scott Parker's grimace, we all felt it. Shocked to the core at the sight of an oily steroid specimen blast his first goal in 16 months, as well as a late, crushing winner for Nuno Espírito Santo's Wolverhampton Wanderers, hearts sunk, hands cradled heads and even the most opinionated of fans was left utterly speechless, staring forlornly at the patterns on living room rugs.
10th April 2021
Scott Parker's "Putney River Rats" were drowned out in the closing stages by Dean Smith's resilient European contenders and with Newcastle United scrounging a last-ditch draw against Tottenham Hotspur, salvation is still marginally out of reach, shelved by a north African assailant and an England debutant at Villa Park. It all went a little wrong for the visitors, jeers soon muted cheers and on Easter Sunday, a day of sweet rejoicing and diabetes, a sour taste loitered in the mouths of Fulham's gobsmacked disciples.
5th April 2021