10 things you don't see at Craven Cottage any more

Take a trip down memory lane...

It’s known as one of the most iconic grounds in the country; a throwback to a bygone era of football. But Craven Cottage has undergone its fair share of changes over the years. Here are 10 of them.

1. The Cravenettes

This cheerleading troupe were regulars before games and at half-time during the early 2000s. Their choreographed dance routines and leg warmers were eventually replaced by Billy the Badger, who had his own set of dance moves in his locker. The Khans did at one point import the Jacksonville Jaguar cheerleaders, but it was never the same. Rumour has it the Cravenettes were transferred to Crystal Palace, where - certainly recently - they’d have had more to cheer about.

2. Joe the Badge Man

Joe Smith sold ‘Badges of Distinction’ from a pitch by the Hammersmith End turnstiles, continuing well into his nineties. Resplendent in flat cap and overcoat, he displayed his wares on baize-backed boards. And while he operated at several other clubs, Fulham could claim him as their own as he hailed from nearby Heston. He also proudly boasted he had won ‘Badge of the Year’ in 1995 with the official ‘coat of arms’ Fulham FC crest - six years before the current effort, beloved by some, was introduced.

3. The Michael Jackson statue

Commissioned by Mohamed Al Fayed after Jackson’s death in 2009, the statue was originally intended for Harrods, but the new owners of the department store rejected it. Erected in 2011 and removed in 2013, it was made of plaster and resin and now resides in storage at the National Football Museum; its place was taken in 2016 by a statue of World Cup winner George Cohen.

The King of Pop visited Fulham in 1999 when the club played Wigan; it is not believed he stayed for the whole game. We did at least win; our former chairman later blamed the statue’s removal for Fulham’s relegation!

4. Chairman’s pre-match walkabout

In contrast to the low-key Khans, now disgraced Fulham owner Al Fayed was apt to wander around the pitch perimeter with his besuited bodyguards and minions before matches, shaking hands and twirling a ridiculously sized scarf. The Liverpool Echo mocked the practice in 2002, stating he did so to the accompaniment of ‘A bizarre record the Harrods owner has recorded played over the PA system.’ This was of course ‘We’re Not Real Madrid’, something else you won’t encounter these days.

5. Percy Dalton peanuts

A peanut vendor wandering the standing terraces at Craven Cottage was a familiar sight several decades ago. ‘Peanuts, a tanner a bag’ came in brown paper packaging emblazoned with the firm’s name, logo and slogan and cost six old pence or, in current money, two and a half pence. Roast chestnut braziers (unrelated to Percy) would also often set up in the Stevenage Road and do a roaring trade as the crowds streamed out and headed for home on winter evenings. Founded postwar, Percy Dalton’s company continued roasting nuts in Stepney until the late 1990s and was eventually sold to KP.

6. ‘Diddy’ David Hamilton

Born David Pilditch, ‘Diddy’ David gained his nickname from comic Ken Dodd, to whom he was a long-time sidekick. He also appeared as a TV game-show host, as well as holding down a position with BBC Radio 1. He enjoyed 18 years as matchday announcer from 1996, even getting his job back after an outcry met his sacking. He spent time as a club director in the Ernie Clay era, and memorably got stranded atop a cherry picker in Hamburg in 2010. David penned an autobiography, A Fulhamish Tale, for Ashwater Press, and, now in his late 80s, still broadcasts for Boom Radio.

7. Rugby League

Craven Cottage hosted rugby league between 1980 and 1984, Fulham RLFC pulling crowds of up to 15,000 at their peak. The brainchild of chairman and proud northerner Ernie Clay, the 13-man team moved on when they were relegated twice in three seasons, sustaining financial losses and attracting lower crowds. They were renamed London Crusaders and then London Broncos, hopping from ground to ground before settling on AFC Wimbledon’s Plough Lane in 2022.

8. Sir Craven of Cottage

The bizarre character known as Sir Craven of Cottage became Fulham’s pre-match crowd-pleaser in the late 1990s, following in the footsteps of the mysterious Harlequin, Fulham’s first mascot sighted in 1958, and Freddie Fulham, a rattle-wielding character who appeared in the programme in cartoon form. In 2003, during the Loftus Road years, our unlikely knight was briefly replaced by Terry Bytes the computer, advertising shirt sponsors dabs.com, before the current breakdancing omnivore made his appearance. Sir Craven’s fate is unknown; hopefully he wasn’t melted down for scrap…

9. Long haired groundsman

Today’s lawn-like playing surface is tended by a veritable army of people. Back in the 80s and 90s, care of the Cottage pitch was entrusted to one man - Steve Magee. He was instantly recognisable due to his long hair, held back by a headband. A recent Micky Adams interview on Fulham Fix revealed he was willing to go head-to-head(band) with the manager when it came to matters such as length of grass. His tenure overlapped with the Fulham (later London Broncos) rugby league team and he eventually forsook groundsman duties to become their kit man

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10. TOOFIF on sale

In the years before the internet and podcasts, the fanzine There’s Only One F In Fulham was the only way fans could share opinions and information. The 30 years the publication remained on sale from David Lloyd’s Stevenage Road pitch saw, in his words, “lousy lows and heavenly highs”. A purchase of TOOFIF was mandatory, often taking precedence over the match programme for many. An article on this very website in August last year tells the whole story: David and his friendly gang of sellers are much missed on matchdays offering their ‘Alternative look at Fulham FC’.