What makes a cult hero?

Why do we take some players into our hearts?

Credit: IMAGO / BSR Agency

AF had it right last week when he said we’ve been blessed with many talented ballers over the years at Craven Cottage.

But Fulham’s always been about more than that. We don’t win trophies, or have players nominated for the Ballon d’Or. Football on the banks of the Thames has always been built different. From the Globetrotters of Bobby Moore, George Best and Rodney Marsh in the 1970s to the Michael Jackson statue, Craven Cottage has been home to both the sublime and the ridiculous.

That inevitably means we’ve had our fair share of cult heroes over the years. But how does a player achieve such a status? Coops put forward a compelling case for the recently-departed Raul Jimenez last season, but I wanted to dig a little deeper to see if I could uncover the recipe for cult success.

Here’s the main criteria. Cult heroes only have to satisfy one of these pillars, but the more you hit, the bigger cult hero you become.

They have to give us a moment

It’s what the beautiful game is all about, right?

Tom Cairney’s the master of moments. The leeds equaliser. The 100th goal of our title-winning campaign. The winner at Wembley.

But cult heroes all invariably have that one moment we love them for.

Carlos Vinicius’s Chelsea winner. Denis Odoi’s header against Derby.

The players who give us these moments are the ones who instantly find their way into our hearts.

They have to have a thing

This is a slightly more intangible one.

Think Moritz Volz cycling to games (a quirk that was reborn thanks to another beloved full-back in Kenny Tete - just don’t ask him why he’s not playing if you catch him on one).

Think John Paintsil’s laps of honour, even if he contributed nothing to the result.

Then there’s Facundo Sava’s Zorro mask, as wonderfully pointed out last week. Why does no one use goal celebration props in this era of social virality? I don’t want to see you dance on TikTok, I want to see you pull a cape from your shorts when you bag a last-minute winner.

Jimmy Bullard’s thing was - well - being Jimmy Bullard. His stories of training ground hi-jinx combined with his on-pitch moments made him a cult hero wherever he went.

The thing doesn’t even have to be a big one. Gabor Kiraly wore tracksuit bottoms, FFS. OK, so perhaps he’s more of a candidate for AF’s piece, but still.

They have to absolutely love being Fulham

We’re all thinking the same thing here, right? Brian McBride.

The man came here as a 32 year old in the autumn of his career. But he loved this club so much he single-handedly kickstarted the special relationship that became Fulhamerica.

It showed on the pitch. He never gave less than 110% - and he bagged a few goals too.

Luis Boa Morte loved the club so much he came back as assistant manager.

This is where I see Rodrigo Muniz carving our his cult hero-dom. He’s got his samba dancing, he’s got his ridiculous obsession with bicycle kicks, and he’s got a love for Fulham FC that’s clear to see - just look at all the club tatt you see in his house on his Insta stories. God bless ya, Rodri.

They need to bring a little bit of chaos

And boy don’t we love it.

I grew up on Boa Morte being an absolutely fantastic baller who enjoyed a card or five. In adulthood Joao Palhinha picked up that mantle.

The aforementioned Bullard brought chaos whereve he went.

Denis Odoi would send us to Wembley, then jeopardise it all with a red card in the final 20 minutes of the final. At the time we were livid, but it was all part of the package, wasn’t it?

You never quite knew what you were going to get with these types of players - but you just knew it was going to be wild.

I think if you had to sum it up and try and articulate what makes a cult hero, it comes down to how they made you feel. And we’re lucky enough to have had more than our fair share of players over the years who have made us feel closer to this great club. It’s one of the many reasons we all keep going back.

I’d love to hear about your biggest FFC cult heroes in the comments - and, crucially, why they make the cut. COYW.