Review

"Down with the Fulham! You're going down with the Fulham!" Our first away victory of the campaign at the Vitality was highly satisfactory, but flooring Cardiff City was by far the most elating triumph of the 2018-19 season, even if Denis Odoi was slammed in the chops by Maxime Le Marchand.

Jazzy Hawaiian shirts, straw hats and an abundant array of novelty inflatables. Fulham were in town to soak up the sunshine and the Vitality Stadium, at least in the away zone, paralleled an all-inclusive sports bar in the heart of Benidorm. Regardless of what the result may be, the travelling faithful were going to unfold their deck chairs and lap up the Easter bank holiday's pleasant festivities.

I've not written a rose-tinted article like this for a very, very long time. Saturday's 2-0 triumph over Everton was undoubtedly Fulham's greatest performance to date this season and for a few hours or so, or at least until I started to tap this paragraph into my keyboard, I'd forgotten that we'd been relegated in our previous meeting at Vicarage Road. It's hilarious what one spirited outing - cradled in a web of disarray - on the banks of the Thames can do to your conscious perception of reality.

Champagne's on ice, cigars are teasing lips and salmon and cream cheese sandwiches are balanced on platters. Let the sadistic relegation party, that's admittedly been long-awaited, commence! We're glad you filled in your RSVP slip after months of endless humming and hawing. What a shitshow of a season this has been in the so-called majesty of the Premier League, aye?

It was business as usual on the pitch this weekend as the Champions came to town and showed Fulham just why they're one of the best teams in the business, all without really getting out of second gear. For one last time this season Jack Collins took the reigns, with Cam Ramsey's international break coming to an end in time to see him return for Watford. Here's Jack's Five Things:

Fulham gave another spirited performance at the Cottage against Liverpool on St. Patrick's Day, but ultimately fell to another defeat as our Premier League lives slowly ebb away. With Cam Ramsey on a short term loan deal in the academies of Thailand, Jack Collins steps into the breach to give his five thoughts on the Liverpool game.

Fulham's late capitulation at the King Power Stadium completely summarises our abysmal return to the Premier League. It really doesn't matter who's in charge, the Cottagers simply don't have what it takes to compete and thrive in the planet's most cutthroat division on a weekly basis. There were glimmers of sanguine in brief spells against Leicester City, but the Foxes stalked the Whites throughout and pounced without mercy.

I can't recall a time where I've been this satisfied after a defeat. Let Chelsea have their empty bragging rights, Fulham have been gifted a new lease of life and it's all thanks to Scott Parker's divine conception. Perhaps I'm getting a little too far ahead of myself, again, but I sincerely hope that we proceed to test our remaining opponents with the same level of courage, resolve and diligence.